- Category: Asexual Passions
- Published on Sunday, 25 March 2012 17:55
- Written by Lara Landis
- Hits: 1170
Sexual advice columnists have given a lot of advice to Asexual people in recent months. Some of it is good and some of it is terrible. Even the Guardian's advice column tackled the moral issues, but they did not do it well. All of the post, including a recent issue from Scarleteen underscore a deeper need in the Asexual community. There needs to be an Asexual Advice columnist who understands relationships and can navigate complicated human relationships.
Because the Asexual community exists almost entirely online, this is not as easy as it might seem. A large portion of the community are introverts, and advice columnists tend to be extroverts. Of course, there are Asexual extroverts, but they may not spend a lot of time in the places where members of the community congregate. Even though this is a problem, it is one that is easily overcome if the right person comes forward.
Getting advice only from a sexual perspective places the focus on the sexual partner in a relationship. One blogger attempted to address the problem, but there needs to be a regular advice column who can handle all the requests, rather than letting such requests be handled by sex experts. Of course, there is one noted exception to this rule. (Users can find her site on the Ace resources page).
If a site such as this one were to start such a column, it would require additional staff, or staff who felt comfortable giving advice despite a lack of experience with relationships. Although this site has the ideal set up for an advice column, it lacks someone with the necessary expertise.
Until the deficit of Asexual advice columnists is fixed, Aces will have to endure many experts giving advice on a topic the expert can only guess about. Mixed relationships are not a new thing, although they generally involved mixed religion or mixed race. Mixed orientation relationships have existed, although they often end badly.
Sexual-Asexual relationships often fare better than similar relationships, but the problem is the advice given to Asexuals often expects that the Asexual person involved in a scenario will develop an interest in sex.